Alhambra

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The mermaid, Alhambra, is the fifth Ambassador from the planet Marinin to arrive gasping for water upon our shores. The first four Ambassadors were worshipped as gods (or goddesses) by cargo cults or, failing landfall, eaten by pirate crews. Due to the haphazard nature of previous receptions, the Grand Council of the people of Marinin eventually sent the most ill-natured, contrary, and difficult member of their society. We are informed that of the vote taken, not a single councilperson volunteered anyone else. The Marinids, as they refer to themselves, counted it no great loss if Alhambra were eaten by scurvy-ridden humans. Besides, their thoughts apparently ran, the tribe that chose to worship this particular mermaid would be hard put to fulfill even her least request.

As no measures were taken to ensure her return to her own planet, the mermaid Alhambra has chosen to remain in the basement tanks of the U.N. building until further notice. She occasionally participates in widely-publicized English lessons with Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie, but most often spends her lesson time tormenting any teacher who is foolish enough to call upon her for an answer.